Dragged Down and Drowned

This was where I languished for a long time, and I am so thankful to read these words now, tables, from a place of open air. If you feel like this, I’ll tell you three words a good friend texted me: Go get help.

-AS

Dragged Down and Drowned

  • Originally posted on a 6s community, August 10, 2011 at 11:11am

Trapped, dependent, useless, discredited, disgusting, diminutive, stuck, muted, caged, loathed, unnecessary, unworthy, unsalvageable are the words that hang from my flesh today, and I haven’t the slightest notion how to unhinge them, discard them, or forget them.

Dragged down and drowned by words is a slow and meticulous death of self and life and freedom, and unwanted. Where has the air gone, and why can I not simply desire it enough to force it into my lungs?

Whose life is this I die while mine floats just out of reach?

If I allow myself to be ferried to the bottom, perhaps I’ll find the beginning, perhaps I’ll see the angiogenesis of this un-life and censure it before it overtakes me.

Take so much softness and make it hard, hard and tangible, hard and comprehensible, hard and harder still that I may reach out, grab hold, and find my footing.

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